Is Your Regret a Form of Perfectionism?
Regret is something most of us carry. We look back on our choices and think, "I should have done that differently".
The longer we live, the more of these moments seem to pile up.
But perhaps it doesn't have to be this way.
As I approach 50 (even though in my mind, I am still 28), I realise that age brings perspective and the opportunity to think about things differently.
I am starting to see that regret can be a form of perfectionism. Regret assumes that a perfect decision was waiting to be made, and that we failed to make it.
The truth is, there is no such thing as a perfect decision. We make choices with the information we have at the time. With hindsight, we might have made a different choice, but that does not make the original choice wrong.
The same logic applies to wasting time. To call time "wasted" is to assume there was a perfect way to use it in the first place. Yet we rarely know in advance what will feel worthwhile. Often, we only discover this afterwards. And even when something does not turn out as we hoped, it usually leaves us with learning we could not have gained otherwise.
That point about learning is significant.
Perfectionism tells us that regret and wasted time are failures. Reflection allows us to learn and grow. Reflection is far kinder and more useful.
If we continue to learn from our experiences, do we really need to label anything as a regret?
I'm still exploring this idea; I know it is not perfect, and that is OK. I would love to hear your thoughts.
