Why My Phone and I Sleep Separately

A doodle of two separate single beds. In one bed, a smiling stick-figure person. In the other, a smartphone with a friendly face. The word “BOUNDARIES” sits above them. The image represents the phone and its owner sleeping in separate rooms.

I have tried to break up with my phone more than once. But every time I do, we somehow drift back together.

Our relationship issues are most prominent in the evening. I'd be trying to relax, watching a TV show, and I'd automatically reach for my phone and start second-screening. I'd mindlessly gaze at it and scroll. There's no joy there, just habit—this behaviour started affecting my sleep too.

Knowing my track record with unsuccessful break-ups, I suggested a different approach: separate bedrooms. My phone now sleeps in the office, and most of my apps lock themselves at 6 pm thanks to my Brick device.

My screen time fell by around 80% in the first week of this new arrangement. I feel calmer. I fall asleep more easily. I am present with whatever I am watching, reading, or doing.

This arrangement suits us for now. It's not a break-up. We just have better boundaries.

I am curious: how do you manage your relationship with your phone? What boundaries work for you?

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